The Book of FAAAS

A compilation of essays and poems written by spouses/partners and parents of adults afflicted with the neurological disorder, Asperger’s Syndrome.

Available from www.faaas.org

This collection of essays and poems was compiled to provide validation to the experiences of the partner or parent of a person with Asperger’s Syndrome. We have a growing resource list of literature to understand children with Asperger’s Syndrome, but there are remarkably few resources to help understand adults and the experiences of their partner. This seminal book provides personal perspectives and thoughts on experiences and relationships that we are only beginning to appreciate. I have great admiration for the partners of adults with residual Asperger’s Syndrome and recommend this book for partners and professionals who support them. The following is a short section from the essay, Cacti and Roses:

I see aspies as cacti, which are soft and vulnerable inside - but very soon in life they develop very cruel prickles to protect themselves from painful contacts with NTs (neurotypicals). They belong in the desert. They are happy there. Occasionally they bloom - and it is so wonderful, they light up the whole desert - but it is short lived. Cactus have a right to be cactus, and to live in the desert, and to have prickles.

I see neurotypicals as roses. Roses do not survive in the desert. If they do survive they become stunted, lose their flowers, develop larger thorns and often have to be medicated to survive.

Aspies do not understand that roses need rose food (emotional connection, tender loving care, appreciation, communication, time out for chatting complete with emotional component!!, understanding, romance, etc.) Aspies can only provide cactus food. When the rose begins to wilt and tries to explain that it needs rose food, the cactus will not understand and will call the rose “selfish” and “ungrateful”.